I approach this blog post with trepidation. As a truth seeker, I always have to ask myself is there ever a middle ground, I don't think so. But in this situation, raising children, everyone has their own ideas on how it should be done and rightly so. In the end, parents are the ones responsible for how they have raised their children and we all want to do it right.
Several months ago, I saw not one but a hand full of posts on face book regarding the Sports Illustrated Magazine being displayed on magazine racks at grocery stores and the concern by Christian homeschooling parents. Again, several parents commented on how they turned the magazine around to keep little eyes from seeing such things. I read all the comments by parents and was tempted to say something but chose not to.
Twenty five years ago I was in their same shoes thinking and doing the same thing these parents are trying to do. Protect your children! Is that really protection? One young mother had a lot of wisdom when she said this is a delicate dance but she chooses to let her children view these things and to discuss and answer any questions her children might have at the time. Another young mother who had small children talked of another homeschooling mom who had older children and how this mother's older son voluntarily looked away from such things and would have nothing to do with any suggestion of immorality. Oh, how I remember this in my homeschooling days, young men with such high standards and hoping my children would turn out that well.
I look back on those days of homeschooling and although my desire was only for the best interest of my children, I now see myself as a controlling bitch. I cringe when I read how mom's choose everything for their children. They can not be affiliated with any group or organization unless it is Christian or the children are being homeschooled. I was right there, that was me! God said something very direct to me when we first started homeschooling. One day I was irritated that my children was not responding to something the way I wanted them to respond. God said, "so you think you can change their heart," I was not even expecting this and I thought, is that what I'm trying to do?? God said, "all you can do is teach them what you know and leave the rest up to me." I'm so hard headed I didn't get it. It took me a long time to understand this. I was so full of fear, I didn't want my children to make a wrong decision or tarnish their lives in any way. But life is full of mistakes and failures and that's how we learn and become great. I should say, IF we learn from our mistakes. Let your children make their mistakes while they are living in your home and you can help them. Pry your fingers off of your children and learn to ALLOW. You will find your children have more wisdom than you think.
I want you to know that turning the book over at the newsstand is not going to keep your son from pornography. In our homeschooling days one young man ended up with homosexual tendencies and I heard of several other young men ended up addicted to pornography. Let me assure you, their parents were very protective and thought they were doing all the right things. Personally, I think when you let them see the magazine at the newsstand, it's not going to be as big a deal in their mind as you trying to hid it.
I'm writing this from my experience. The lesson that I learned and it was a big one, was that I washed the outside of the cup and inside was dead men's bones and that I tithed mint, dill and cumin and neglected the weighter matters of the law which is love, justice and mercy. The biggest lesson of all was I did not love unconditionally. Unconditional love is learned, the love that most of us live with and practice is self centered and conditional. The sad part is we operate from that place and don't even realize it. I did.
We have the priviledge of receiving these wonderful little beings into our lives and I guess I would just like to see parents coming from a place of love and not the law.
